Ready

I had never been afraid of the dark.
That being said, I had never been in this place. The question was, where was here? No outside sounds pierced through the thick blackness which surrounded me. There was nothing else to indicate where I was.
With nothing for my brain to focus on, I'm suddenly launched into my memories full-force: I'm standing on the bridge, turning to leave...turning again because the sound of a speeding car alerted me...the lights, two demon eyes shining through that pitch darkness...the pain...the silence.
Then this.


Am I dead?
Is this Heaven?
The darkness stretches on-- there is so escape! My screams disappear, engulfed by the thick atmosphere around me. Panic seizes my chest. This is the Purgatory I had heard so much about. A hundred years of this? I'd rather die!
...Oh, wait...


Like a blind man, I shuffle forward. Hands outstretched, eyes wide open, barely breathing for fear that I'll suddenly run into a camouflaged wall or off of a cliff edge.
Light suddenly floods me from behind. I spin, expecting a Doctor and his white lab coat to be in a doorway; holding a clipboard, chuckling and telling me I've just survived a horrible hit-and-run and it is the meds that's messing with my brain, that I'm just in a big, dark, double hospital room and it's the middle of the night...
There is a doorway, but minus the Doctor. Nonetheless, I'm flooded with joy and start running towards my escape. A few feet from the door, however, I stop. My mind reels with sudden skepticism. I cannot see what I am running into. Do I trust this mysterious door to another dimension?


I don't. So I sit in front of it, watching for movement on the other side and contemplating my options. Which is better: being alone in endless black, or being alone in endless white?
I don't want either. I want home. I want friends. I want family. I want answers! This is torture; I'm a hungry snake and freedom is a mouse, dangling just out of reach for me.
What I'm scared of, though...is it that freedom?


The light is beckoning me in. It's taunting me. I don't want to leave! My darkness is comforting; there's always the chance that I'll open my eyes and things will be as they were. Death is...final.
Too final.
My heart is telling me to stay here, to never let go.
My mind disagrees.



...I am ready.